Five Minute October: Remain

Remain.

I'm drawing a blank. I keep coming back to write this one, and my mind just remains empty.  I don't have anything funny or philosophical to go with the prompt.  I guess I'll remain honest?

The best I can come up with for any deep thought is from St. Paul:

"Faith, hope, and love remain...but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor 13:13)


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Five Minute October: Try

Try.

This one is pretty easy.  "Try" was the word I chose for my "Word of the Year" back in January.  My goal was to try new things, or still get started even if I knew finishing was going to be difficult (or not happen at all.)  I can't say that I've tried everything that I've thought "Wow, I'd like to..." because inertia (and fear of looking like an idiot) are hard to overcome, but I have managed one major goal -- I've completed a 5K and am now working on a 10K distance run.

A friend of mine suggested that we celebrate our birthdays by trying as many new things as years old we were turning. They could be as simple as a new ice cream flavor instead of an old favorite,  I have a long way to go until I hit 42 new things, but I have plenty of time.  If nothing else, I've learned that life is not really about making a "bucket list" of things to do "sometime before I die."  It should be about finding experiences to create "I didn't know I wanted to do this, but I'm glad I did" list.

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Five Minute October: Write

Write.

I'm going to admit I've written this in advance.  I've taken this week off from blogging to celebrate my anniversary, but I wanted to participate, so I'm writing ahead a little.

Writing is something I've always loved. I may have hated the research part of a paper, but writing it was something that I never really minded.  Writing a blog seemed like a good outlet for me.  Sometimes, I find it as hard as those research papers. Do I have a topic to focus on? Do I have something to say? I sometimes feel like I'm just writing for the sake of writing, without a purpose.

I want to make writing a focus again.  Something I'm learning is that I don't have to work "in real time."  I'm hoping to clear out a backlog of stories that need writing down.  I have photos and stories I want to share, but just haven't gotten that far, or figured "They were so long ago, why bother?"

Celia's violin teacher holds a contest each spring - who can practice the most days in a row.  To count as an "official" practice, it needs to be only five minutes, because the hardest part usually is just getting started.  Five minutes a day hasn't seemed so hard - often I find myself writing for fifteen or twenty once I get started.  I know that five minutes that turns into an hour isn't going to happen every day, but I think once this month is over, I'm going to set up a "just five minutes" for every other day and see what happens. Maybe I can clear out some of the backlog that's in my head!

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Five Minute October: Remember

Remember.

That's an easy one for today.  What I remember is getting married, 20 years ago today.

I remember my maid of honor's mother cornering me as I returned from the hairdresser, handing me a plate of food and a glass of orange juice, and saying "You're not passing out on my watch." I remember my grandmother walking into the church, stopping in the Baptistry to visit and crying as she and my dad reminisced sitting in the waiting room the day I was born.  I remember running a few minutes behind, and as we got ready my best childhood friends came hustling in. (They were always running late, so it brought another smile through the tears.)

I remember walking up the aisle and seeing Neal there, and then walking into the sanctuary.  The ceremony itself has blurred with time, but I remember we had chosen a Scripture reading from Jeremiah, and as his sister began reading, "A reading from the prophet Jeremiah..." Neal whispered "was a bullfrog..." Yes, I struggled to keep a straight face.

Most girls have ideas of their dream wedding.  I had a pretty simple "dream" -- I wasn't picky about almost anything, but I always wanted a wedding picture take in front of the Holy Family statue in front of my grade school.  Thankfully, the weather was perfect, so I got my dream picture.

I remember trying to greet every person during our cocktail hour. After getting me a third glass of wine in the space of twenty minutes, my brother finally appointed himself my wineglass holder. Every time I put it down to take a photo, my glass disappeared onto the tray of a helpful waitress.

I remember dancing with Neal - our song was Billy Joel's "To Make You Feel My Love."  I danced with my father to "Butterfly Kisses" and started to cry yet again when the singer crooned "She'll change her name today," and my father was the first person to call me Mrs. Falciani.

I remember heading to our new home.  Happy and exhausted, I sat in the back of the limo with Neal's jacket and arm around my shoulders.  I couldn't have asked for a better end to a better day, that was really the start of an awesome life.

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Five Minute October: Listen

Listen.

I'm reminded of the time Luke presented his Science Fair project on the physics of paper airplanes.  I'm not entirely unconvinced that the judges didn't award him first place just because he kept talking.  Aspies + favorite activities = you've got a lot to listen to.

Jude has multiple obsessions.  His current one is watching animal shows on YouTube.  Every day he has a new fact for us; tonight's was about a lizard that dives for its food and only lives in the Galapagos Island.  The other day, I was so busy listening to his dissertation on orcas that I forgot to get a grocery cart.  Rather than put out that it took us longer to shop,  he seemed rather pleased that he had distracted me.

I think sometimes it doesn't matter what they're talking about. Kids just want us to listen.


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Five Minute October: Plan

Plan.

One of my favorite parts of homeschooling is our field trips. Rather than taking a field trip day once or twice a month, we save up our time and pennies to do a longer trip in new locations.  We've seen 46 of the mainland 48 states in the last three years and visited over 80 National Parks locations.

However, a trip of 30 states in 34 days takes some serious planning.  We start making our wish list just after Christmas.  Everyone gets to list a few things they'd like to see and do. It could be as specific as "have an in-person lesson with my violin teacher in Minnesota" (Celia) to as vague as "Can we do something Pony Express?"  Sometimes, we pick things based on "We're this far already..." I mean, as I was mapping out one trip, I realized that from Petrified Forest National Park, San Diego and the Pacific Ocean were only about two inches away! We added on to our trip -- we felt we couldn't be within six hours of the other end of the country and not put our feet in the ocean.

It's going to be time to plan our trip for next summer soon.  Last year was a short trip to Massachusetts.  Matthew wants to go to Kitty Hawk and Great Sand Dunes NP.  I pointed out they were nowhere near each other, and he said, "Well, I didn't mean in the same day!" Sounds like I'm planning another big road trip for our future!


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Five Minute October: Truth

Truth.

When I started out on this "Five minutes a day" thing, I didn't think it would be so difficult.  I knew the hardest part was getting started, but having a daily topic to focus on should have made it easy.  But sometimes, I spend half an hour trying to figure out what I want to say for those five minutes.

I was talking to another blogging friend about how it's coming time for Homeschool Review Crew applications, and how torn I am. The Crew has been a huge blessing to us, especially as we have entered stages of homeschooling unexpectedly.  But the truth is it's getting harder to keep up with the blogging requirements.  When I first started blogging, Jude was in preschool, so we had lots of crafts and daily activities to share. As he's gotten older, we still have things to share but not as much.  While Luke was in high school, he was a co-writer here.  Matthew doesn't enjoy writing as much, so he tends to go in a different direction with reports, and oral discussions don't make for exciting blogging.  Plus, as the kids get older and school days become longer and more involved, by the end of the day, I'm just done in.  Part of me says, "It's one blog post a week. It's not that huge a commitment." But some weeks just go by so fast, and I think "Wait!  I had a Wordless Wednesday idea, how did we get to Saturday already?"

I promised myself at the beginning of 2017 that when I blogged, I was not going to worry about statistics and page views and longer, and write from my heart.  So, for better or worse, you're getting the unvarnished truth today. I don't know if I'm going to re-apply or not. I want to say, "Of course, I'll do it, because I love it," but I just don't know what's left in the tank.

PS. If you're interested in being part of the Crew, check out the requirements here.  Like I said, they're relatively simple and the support of other homeschoolers is great.  Maybe I'll see you there next year!








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Five Minute October: Hold

Hold.

 Hold on, time.  When did my babies get so big?  My smallest "baby" is seven,  my eldest nineteen. I'm hearing a lot more "Hold this while I go off to do..."  I'm just waiting on "Hold my beer!"  The wailing "I said, hold up!" is less the wail attached to little legs trying to keep up and more the teenage tone that can convey anything from "I heard you and don't want to listen," to "I need more time primping!"

I'm holding little hands less and less.  Sometimes Jude or Damien will grab my hand in traffic, but usually I wind up steering them through the really crowded ones by holding onto one shoulder as they try to shake me off, saying "Mom! I'm not a baby!"

I'm holding on to memories of those babies now.


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Five Minute October: Story

Story.

When I read today's prompt, it prompted an earworm -- the track "If You Knew My Story," from the Broadway musical Bright Star.  This was one of those shows that never seemed to gain traction, despite a great music, book, and cast.  The song is the opening of the show, and the chorus goes:

If you knew my story
My heaven and my hell
If you knew my story
You'd have a good story to tell. 

I love this song because we all have a life story that has two sides -- some times are wonderful, and some times are utterly horrid.   The character in the story hasn't had life go quite the way she planned. However, instead of letting these events take over her life, but she takes what life has given and uses it to define herself on her own terms.

It's easy to let life steamroll us...I know I sure often feel like I've been run over! But I think this is one of my favorite songs because it ends with the verse:

Even though I stumble
Even though I fall
You'll see me crumble
You'll never see me crawl.

I like that idea -- stumbling and falling aren't important. It's getting back up again that makes your story.


PS: If you have the time to watch the concert version of  Bright Star, do.  Composer Steve Martin is a man of surprising talents.

Click here to read the entire series:  Five Minute October

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Five Minute October: Trust

For a long time (ok, practically his entire life) every time a cat comes within a two-foot radius of Jude, he has jumped and curled in on himself.  A few weeks ago, he suddenly decided he wanted them to sit on his lap.  I told him he was probably going to have to earn their trust -- they were used to him jumping so they might come near him, but they might not come to him.

At first, it took a gargantuan effort for him not to move when they came near.  He would start to flinch, and then remember he wanted them to come to him. Slowly, they came close when he was sitting next to me.  Finally, Annie parked herself in my lap but fell asleep on his knee.

One day, she wanted to sit in my lap, but it was already full of science book, so I gently scooted her towards him, and there she stayed.

He was so excited that she finally trusted him enough to sit with him.  I was impressed that he trusted her -- he's fearful her her scratching him.

Now, it's not uncommon to see the two of them together.

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Five Minute October: Hope

Hope.

Hope is one of those words I hear a lot in this house. "I hope I can...," or "I hope we go to..." or even "I hope Santa will bring..."

I like hearing "I hope." It means there's a belief in the future.  I love hearing, "I hope when I die, I get to see you in heaven." It means I'm raising my child up to believe there is more to life than what is of this world.

A friend of mine often writes when times are a struggle, "Hoping on, hoping ever," as a reminder that God is bigger than us, and our hope is in Him.  Right now, in this world, there is so much devastation and despair. Hope seems like something almost frivolous.  But I think now is when we need hope the most.  We need love and kindness and good neighbors, but I think without hope, none of these matter.   1 Corinthians 13 is usually referred to as "The Love Chapter" of St. Paul's writings and focuses on how empty life is without love.  Yes, without love, everything rings false, but often overlooked are the words "Love hopes all things."   Love needs hope, or else it can't bear or endure "all things."

Hoping on.  Hoping ever.



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Five Minute October: Create

Create.

After my college experiences, I'm convinced that it doesn't matter what you do after college, you will find some practical application of what you've learned.

For a long time, three semesters of dialect classes were the foundation for an ability to hold an intelligent conversation with speech therapists.  Two of costuming came in handy when making Halloween costumes, Saint Day garb, or even fashioning a flamenco frock for a school project.

Damien is my costume king.  Some days, he is decked out as one character; other days, he's SuperPirate BatChef.  I've never seen somebody so excited to see Amazon bring a pack of "chemo caps." He wanted an official Aladdin turban, but the wardrobe department's budget didn't extend quite that far.  I found a pack of ten hats for a third of the price of a costume turban, and figured he'd just have to bejewel the cream-colored one to be Aladdin.  When they arrived, he grabbed a blue one, ran upstairs to ransack his brother's dresser, and then came back down dressed as the Genie.

The other day, my little Ghostbuster got busted trying to wander off with my vacuum parts to use as a ghost trap.  When I suggested he make his trap of some things we didn't need, he rummaged through the recycling and the craft shelf, and brought me a ruler, a juice jug, and some yarn.  He then proceeded to tell me how we could build one.

Four years of college tuition, including a mandatory semester of set and prop design distilled down into braiding the yarn so that it would be stronger when he flung the bottle to catch the ghosts.  He told me I was a genius. I said that I had my moments that make me worth keeping around, and he responded, "Yeah...and you're tall enough to reach the chocolate."

That's my kid. Creating ways to keep Mama humble.

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Five Minute October: Tell

Tell.

One thing about Jude is he's never short on a new fact to tell you.  The other day, I took him grocery shopping with me.  I forgot to grab a cart from the parking lot because I was busy listening to him tell me about orcas.  I was proud of how he patiently waited at the curb for me to run back to the cart corral and grab one.

That was only the beginning. When we got done our shopping, I told him again how proud I was of him.  He has experienced near-crippling anxiety.  One of the reasons we became homeschoolers was to remove this roadblock to help him learn, but the grocery store has been an exceptional source of stress for him.  He doesn't like feeling as if others are watching him. Slowly, he's worked his way from hiding under my coat to walking next to me.  This time, he went about 20 feet away from me to grab a loaf of bread, and then said it was OK if I took an armful of chips back to the cart while he got his bag.  (At our warehouse club, they're sold two factory bags to a club mix-and-match pack. I did ask if he wanted help filling his bag, and was informed that he could do it himself, thank you, and I could go.)   I skedaddled back before he changed his mind.

This is HUGE for him.  Not only is he two-thirds of an aisle away, but there is another person in the aisle.

 Until Jude, I used to take for granted being able to say to a kid "Be Mommy's helper...can you get something over there while I get this here?" and getting a chipper response.  When the doctors asked me what our goal was, I said that I didn't need a "neurotypical kid response," I just needed to be able to take him with me to get groceries.  I need to tell everyone how proud I am that he's worked really, really hard and is now my official Chip-Getter.


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Five Minute October: Worship

Worship.

So we're going to start out with a tough one, I guess, and throw me out of my comfort zone right away.  Ok, clock's ticking.

 I miss Mass.  It's been a while since I've attended on a regular basis...bad Catholic, I know.  When we began our homeschooling journey, it was because we had some serious fallings-out with our parish and the former Bishop, followed quickly by a broken promise by the then-new Bishop.  It was a 1-2 punch that left our family reeling.  One side of me acknowledged the leaders were only human, but the human side of me was broken-hearted and unable to separate what was done on a Tuesday from the voice giving Sunday's sermon.  I was too angry. My faith in God was never shaken, but my faith in my church was shattered.  I suddenly felt unwelcome...resented, even.

Now, I find I miss that routine and the rituals. I need to go back- not because of guilt, but because I think my soul needs it.  I often think returning might help soothe the weariness I feel.  At the least, I think it's time to start looking into seeing what schedules local parishes have and working towards going back.

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Five Minute October

I've been struggling in my writing.  I find ideas to write about - things everyone has done, something we've made, a reworked recipe - but by the end of the day I have a pile of pictures and no ability to put together coherent sentences.

The more you do something, the easier it becomes.  (Or so the theory goes.) So I'm going to work on writing five minutes a day for each day in October.  This could get tricky as we have a crazy month planned, but I figure, I can handle five minutes. I'll be sharing over at Five Minute Friday - there's a whole month of five-minute free writes waiting. I'll link each post back to this page as the month goes on, so everything is in one place at the end of the month.

Happy October!

1 - Worship
2 - Tell
3 - Create
4 - Hope
5 - Trust
6 - Story (Five Minute Friday)
7 - Hold
8 - Truth
9 - Plan

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