Homeschooling Lessons I Learned the Hard Way: 8 Truths About Homeschooling

There are families that know from the moment they even contemplate children that they're going to be homeschoolers.  That wasn't us.  We had everything reasonably planned out for everyone to go to Catholic school, and ultimately that turned out to not be the plan.  I used to think, "I'll do it if I have to, but I don't really want to."  By the time Matthew and Damien started, I was the one lobbying for them to be home!  There are some things you can read about, but they never seem true until you experience them.  If my current self could go back and give my old self advice, I'd tell her to just relax, and to take these 8 tidbits to heart.  It'll be OK.

1.  This is hard.

Homeschooling isn't easy.  Some days it may be easier, but it's not easy every day.  You're the teacher, principal, lunch lady, custodian rolled into one.  It's OK to say, "One hat at a time!"


2. Be flexible.

Life happens.  Sometimes I plan for Jude to take an hour to do something, and he breezes through and is done in half that.  Sometimes, I plan an hour and he takes four.  Occasionally, an opportunity will come up that we can't decline, and it feels like we're playing catch-up for days.   Don't let yourself get wrapped up in schedules and "ought to."  Learning will happen.

3.  Field trips can be amazing.

My previous experience with "school trips" has been herding children onto and off of buses, compulsively counting heads, and racing through "places with so much group appeal that there are 30 of them there today" to make it back to the bus on time so we're home by dismissal.  As a homeschooler, I don't have to do it that way.  We can arrive someplace later in the day and not only still have lots of time, but the places are empty.  (Schools tend to clear out around 1:00, while museums don't close until 5!)  We can also can choose places that appeal to us but aren't practical for bus tours - we've visited about 45 National Parks Service-maintained sites alone!  It's taken up a lot of nerve to try these places out, for fear of the crowds, but almost always they are worth the trek.  (And usually not very crowded after all.) 

4.  Embrace SSR - no matter the R.

When I was in high school, we had a near sacrosant portion of homeroom labeled "Sustained Silent Reading."  SSR was 10 minutes each day of recreational reading. There were no school books and no homework/studying allowed.  What you read didn't matter - it could be a magazine, a book so fluffy that it made a cotton ball look elephantine, or War and Peace.  Require "choose your own" books to be read - at least a few minutes a day - but don't sweat over what is chosen.

Plus...10 minutes of quiet.  Jackpot!

5. No matter how many acts your circus seems to have, always give someone a turn in the center ring.

Big ones like to show what they've read just as much as the little ones do!  Jude and Damien revel in praise like "I'm so proud that you spelled that right!"  while one-on-one time gives Matthew and Luke the chance to tell something they've read that clicked.  It doesn't have to be a formal "around the table," because some kids don't need the crowd watching - just one person to listen makes their day.

6. You are incomparable.

It's hard not to compare what you're doing with others, to make sure you're measuring up.  Remember, you're teaching a single child, not a class of 40.  You're also teaching YOUR child, not Sallie from co-op's or Amy's from library time.  You can do whatever works for you as long as in the end your child is learning.

7.   Confidence first, challenge second.

Challenge is how we all grow, but it's hard when you feel like you just can't. When things get too hard for your child, drop back a little bit until your child regains his confidence, and then move forward again.  It's far easier to try when you can say, "I've done this before, I can do it again!"

8.  Do not look forward in fear.

For a long time, I've admired the intellect of St. Francis deSales, and his teachings, especially this one:

Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life; rather, look to them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things; and when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms.  

 Do not fear what may happen tomorrow; the same understanding Father who cares for you today will take care of you then and every day. He will either shield you from suffering or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.

Take it to heart! Be fearless!


Today is Day 5 of the Schoolhouse Crew Review spring Blog Hop. There are over 50 bloggers participating in this season's theme, 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents. I'll be featuring a different group of bloggers each day, and encourage you to check their blogs out and see what advice they have for you!

Adventures with Jude
Day 1: Choosing Curriculum
Day 2: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap
Day 3: Creating a Customized Curriculum
Day 4: Don't Lose the Big Picture
Day 5: 8 Truths about Homeschooling (this post)

Jeniffer @ Thou Shall Not Whine
Jennifer @ A Peace of Mind
Jennifer @ Faithful Homestead
Joelle @ homeschooling for His Glory
Joesette @ Learning Curve
Kari @ Random Acts of Boyhood
Katie @ Katie's Daily Life
Kemi @ Homemaking Organized
Kim @ Homestead Acres
Kylie @ Our Worldwide Classroom

Homeschooling Lessons I Learned the Hard Way: Don't Lose the Big Picture

Our family has been homeschooling now for just over five years. I don't think I'd say I'm the most laid back homeschooler; I stress over making sure we've done enough, and that the boys are far enough along for their ages and grades. However, no matter what the boys have learned, what I have learned is to trust my instincts, and look at the big picture - the proverbial “Don’t miss the forest for the trees.”

When we first started homeschooling, Jude was our only homeschooler. The older three kids were in grade school, and Damien was still a toddler. He'd play while the others got ready for school, and then early on in the day while I got Damien organized, gulped down some coffee, and got our books for the day ready. Then I'd look at my watch and say, "Oh, we better get started!" and it would be time to stop playing and get serious. Out came the workbooks and printables, the crayons and classic literature, and it would be time to sit.

Sure, I tried to keep things interesting and engaging, but I'm not certain that "have fun" was at the top of the list. Anything that was fun was almost coincidental -- I was so wrapped up in making sure he progressed and we didn't become "that kind" of homeschooler that I was afraid to just let things be. You know what I'm talking about -- the kind of family that says, "Oh, we homeschool," and the children can't put together coherent sentences. We had developmental specialists -- doctors, therapists, etc. -- all questioning our decision and pushing for Jude to go to a "regular" school. We tried it their way, and it was a disaster, but it didn't stop them from pushing us to "send him back to school." I don't think I had a chip on my shoulder, but I was determined to not give them any crack to slide in anything that resembled "I told you so." Every task had an ulterior motive: printable coloring pages doubled as practicing letter identification, kneading bread dough worked fine motor skills, and a stop at the grocery store was a lesson in counting.

The first 18 months of homeschooling felt like barely controlled chaos. I was so intent on proving the "professionals" wrong that there were lots of tears - both his and mine! We did everything to try to get Jude to "crack the code" and read, and he just couldn't. I wish I had been able to believe, "It'll happen in time." I wish I had been able to say, "If he enjoys Super Why! then I'll let him watch it and count it as helping him learn phonics," rather than saying "No, must do it on paper for it to count, so we have a paper trail."

Then Luke's school closed, and we decided he’d finish high school at home. My doubts said maybe I was doing OK with homeschooling a kindergartener, but it was only kindergarten, with probably the lowest stakes of all. Luke only had three years until he had to go to college! How was I going to manage homeschooling a high schooler? Truthfully, I had zero clue, but took comfort in "If Jude isn't falling farther behind, I can't be a total failure." I made lists of what courses we needed to take, and cross referenced them lists of with potential courses, stressing over whether those courses were "strong enough." How many books and papers made an English course? It didn't matter if a public school's history class covered from the Cold War to 9/11 at a decade-every-other-day clip, my homeschooler had to know all about every major event, from LBJ's barbecue fundraisers to how many jellybeans were on Reagan's desk to the number of "hanging chads" in the 2000 election so nobody could say we were slacking! And if a high schooler had physics lab once every six school days, then six into 180 minus assembly schedule days meant how many labs to plan? We hadn't yet grasped how to homeschool; we were still stuck in the "do school at home" phase.

I wish with Luke that we had taken a little more time to de-school, and figure out what he wanted early on, rather than panicking and saying "Must...find..chemistry!" I think I would have said, "Ok, you need six courses this year, let's not stress over spending one hour on each of them every day, let's pick three, get our feet under us, and then go from there." I think we wouldn’t be stressing so much now as his senior year comes to an end. As my second high schooler, Matthew is getting the benefit of this experience, but as always, the oldest is the one Mom learns on.

We started homeschooling because the boys needed something "different" from what brick-and-mortar schools were providing. Coming from a science perspective and society where objective data reigns supreme, it’s been hard to change to a mindset that tests and book reports aren’t the only ways to prove you've learned. Last summer, Matthew's explanation of architecture made a National Park Ranger stop talking and listen to him. Jude may still be struggling to find definitions in a dictionary, but when asked "Have you ever shown anyone hospitality?" he replied, "We gave Aunt Jo and Uncle Brendan a place to sleep and showed them our country." Luke is able to engage in a political conversation with co-workers about the upcoming election. Yes, we do need some tests and evaluations, because the doctors like quantifiable progress and colleges like transcripts with grades that objectively prove the boys grasped what was taught. However, we’ve finally come to realize that learning isn’t about passing tests, but passing life. As Luke says, “It’s not as important that I can remember when Lincoln was inaugurated the second time, but that he was and in his speech said we had to figure out a way to be friends, not enemies.” I wish I hadn’t been so wrapped up in the details that I missed the point.


Today is Day 4 of the Schoolhouse Crew Review spring Blog Hop. There are over 50 bloggers participating in this season's theme, 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents. I'll be featuring a different group of bloggers each day, and encourage you to check their blogs out and see what advice they have for you!

Adventures with Jude
Day 1: Choosing Curriculum
Day 2: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap
Day 3: Creating a Customized Curriculum
Day 4: Don't Lose the Big Picture (this post)
Day 5: 8 Truths about Homeschooling (live 4/1 @ 8 am)

Dawn @ Double O Farms
Dawn @ Guiding Light Homeschool
Debbie @ Debbie's Homeschool Corner
Desiree @ Our Homeschool Notebook
Diana @ Busy Homeschool Days
Diana @ Homeschool Review
Elyse @ Oiralinde: Eternal Song
Emilee @ Pea of Sweetness
Erin @ For Him and My Family
Jen @ Chestnut Grove Academy






©2012- 2015 Adventures with Jude. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://adventureswithjude.com

Homeschooling Lessons I Learned the Hard Way: 3 Ways to Create a Customized Curriculum

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Once you've determine the "best for you" style of curriculum, and  made your budget, it's time to go back to acquire your winners.  But what happens if you don't have any clear winners?  Maybe it's because the price tag on your "perfect" program isn't, "We'll have pasta twice a week for a couple of months and skip the Oreos, and that'll free up the difference," but more like "We won't eat for two months if I buy this."  When you have a child who tests two years behind in language skills -- or an early and avid reader who is skipping ahead, what do you do?  How do you balance the "have to do" with "but I'd rather be doing..." things?

Make your own curriculum!

Now, I'm not going to tell you it's as easy as just ordering things as packages and kits.  It's a lot of work.  However, sometimes you need to look at programs by subject, or at each subject from a different perspective. Here is how we create our own curricula that is customized to each need.

Unit Study

A Unit Study is a fairly self-contained program that combines literature, grammar/writing, art, and often history and/or science with a focus on a a single core subject. Sometimes you can include math with your work,  but often unit studies will need a separate math and/or phonics instruction program.  I think that unit studies is one of the most economical curriculum style available.  It lends itself to lots of library use, which helps keeps costs down.  We also get a lot of use from our Amazon Prime membership -- what we need to purchase, we get from Amazon with quick shipping, and then take advantage of Prime Music and Prime Video, too.  Pre-prepared unit studies are probably one of the most flexible curriculum options.  Many offer a "here's six activities, do two" approach, allowing you to pick what suits your child's needs most.

However, you can create your own unit studies relatively easily You will want to create an outline of resources that suit your child's learning style and academic needs, combining different media and topics that capture your child's interests. Here's our template for unit studies!

Unit studies can be for all grades and ages!  Luke has been working his way through high school US History and Literature using a Unit Study approach!  Here's an example of one of his history units (keeping in mind this is an Honors caliber course, so there is a lot of reading and writing.):

Colonial/Revolutionary America
Timeline Text: Notgrass America The Beautiful
Literature: Five 4ths of July, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
Historical Reading: YWAM William Penn, Founding Mothers by Cokie Roberts, YWAM George Washington, YWAM John Adams
Video:  America: The Story of Us, Crash Course US History,  1776 (film of Broadway Musical)
Field Trips: Fort Necessity National Battlefield, Valley Forge National Historic Park, George Washington's Mount Vernon,
In Depth Research Study - George Washington:  Happy Birthday, Mr. President?, A Biography of George Washington (Part I, Part II, Part III)

Links are to reviews and/or entries in Luke's blog series, Luke's American Adventures.  He's done a lot of writing, but found he didn't want to write a paper for the sake of writing a paper.  He found his niche as a guest blogger here, working to show a lesser known side of history.   What he loved about unit study was being able to see literature and history in context of an era.  Now, obviously, because we live in New Jersey we have access to a number of early American-themed field trip sites. Many places offer virtual field trips, and the Colonial Williamsburg Foundation offers a Virtual Field Trip series.




Jude did a unit study on Dinosaurs, one of his favorite subjects.

We took a lapbook as our tether, and then wandered off each day in a different direction.  Jude especially liked this study, because it allowed for a new activity every day.  Unit studies are also great for when you're starting to homeschool, because you can try a huge variety of activities and get a feel for what your child really enjoys and what he'd rather not do.

Reading Level (Not Grade Level) Literature Programs

We have really struggled with finding a "grade level" reading/literature program for the little boys.  The biggest problem is there does not seem to be a consensus of what belongs in a specific grade.  I have looked at some books and said, "This is WHAT GRADE??" I've found that often literature programs seem to include books a grade level or two above the chronological grade.  I firmly believe that children rise to the level we challenge them with, but there is a fine line between "challenge" and "overwhelm."  You know your child, and what that threshold is. What I've done is taken books in quality literature programs - mainly just to have a book list - and charted them according to Scholastic Grade Level and/or Lexile Score, and created a cheat sheet of books according to reading level.  Here's a sampling from some "Grade 2" level programs.

I'll also add in books that look like fun, and that others have suggested as interesting for the age range.  Our plan is to choose books according to ability. If we hang out at a specific level for a while, that's fine.  When they're ready to move on, we'll slide up the scale.  This works two ways - for Jude, it allows him to not get overwhelmed with books that are too hard, but also gives me a list for Damien, who is slightly advanced for his age with reading skills. I will admit that it probably isn't a perfect way to categorize books for two reasons:

• You can see from the second column of titles that sometimes a higher "grade level" is "easier" from a Lexile scoring, but I find using those gives me a good starting point to decide if the book is worth a quick skim to see if it will work.  
• If I know Jude is doing well with a grade 2/early 3rd book, and struggling with a 4th, I know to hang out in around there, and not move up to something in the 5-point-somethings too soon just because a program says "This is what we do for kids in 3rd grade."  Our motto is confidence first, challenge next. I'd rather him read six simpler books and be a confident reader than struggle through a hard one too soon and hate to read.

This also really dovetails nicely with the Unit Study method.  Finding books that are in the appropriate reading level range will help open up topics, especially for Jude.  If it's a new concept he's that not certain he will enjoy, being able to find something at or even slightly below grade level will allow the information to be more easily absorbed.  This way, the focus isn't on trying to push forward in reading level, but is on gaining knowledge and broadening horizons.  If it's a subject that is really loved, then we'd try a harder book, because the reading may be harder but the topic is already familiar.

Play

While Jude and Damien do have "serious" schoolwork to do, they also spend a fair amount of time playing.  Damien loves to play superheroes, and one day he spent the entire day drawing pictures of his favorites.  That day's program evolved into telling me about each character, having a mock battle with the papers, keeping track of how many DC Super Heroes and how many Marvel Super Heroes he's drawn (individually and combined) and writing their names on their pictures and a master list, and debating each character's powers.  Damien has "played" all day but practiced language organizattion/storytelling, penmanship, and math.  I would say that we are definitely "eclectic" homeschoolers, but I find a personal affinity to some of the tenets of Waldorf-style education.  Sometimes, especially with younger students, you don't actually need a "curriculum" for everything, but instead you need to just provide opportunity.

I would also argue that while educational approach also needs to mature as a child grows, we never outgrow our desire to learn from activities we consider fun.  One of my new favorite resources for the older boys is the Great Courses.  They're college-caliber audit-style classes in any number of topics.  While there are a number of courses that have fulfilled core requirements (Luke is combining a couple courses in Shakespeare to create a senior lit course, and used their Anatomy and Physiology for senior science), they also bring a huge variety of electives to the party.  Matthew has studied ancient architecture and engineering.  He has found this field fascinating, and that excitement translates to a desire to learn more, motivating him to read texts, have organized discussions, and write gradable essays. Luke has studied cooking techniques with the program.  Combining the video program with a practicum in the kitchen has sparked an interest in being an amateur chef -- and I can't complain about having the night off from dinner duty!

Today is Day 3 of the Schoolhouse Crew Review spring Blog Hop.  There are over 50 bloggers participating in this season's theme, 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents.  I'll be featuring a different group of bloggers each day, and encourage you to check their blogs out and see what advice they have for you!

Adventures with Jude
Day 1: Choosing Curriculum
Day 2: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap
Day 3: Creating a Customized Curriculum (this post)
Day 4: Don't Lose the Big Picture
Day 5: 8 Truths about Homeschooling (live 4/1 @ 8 am)

Annette @ A Net In Time
Brandy @ Kingdom Academy Homeschool
Brenda @ Counting Pinecones
Carol @ Home Sweet Life
Cassandra @ A Glimpse of Normal
Chareen @ Every Bed of Roses
Cristi @ Through the Calm and Through the Storm
Crystal @ Crystal Starr
DaLynn @ Biblical Womanhood
Danielle @ Sensible Whimsy



©2012- 2016 Adventures with Jude. All rights reserved. All text, photographs, artwork, and other content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form without the written consent of the author. http://adventureswithjude.com

Homeschooling Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap

I thing being frugal in life is a good thing. Frugal, by definition, means to be "prudently saving or sparing, not wasteful."  However, there is a different between "frugal" and "cheap."  I've seen the cost of some curricula and programs -- we looked at one online high school program that came pretty close to Luke's brick-and-mortar school tuition.  It can be intimidating if you just Google "homeschool curriculum" and you see the price tags of some of the "popular" programs.  So often I see on social media and web sites someone saying, "I can't afford to homeschool," and twelve people supply "Yes, you can, you can do it for FREE!" and start listing resources.  I'm not here to disparage any of them - because they can be great resources.  With so many resources out there, homeschooling can be frugally done. However, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is not true.  And guess what? "You can homeschool for FREE!" is too good to be true.

When we first started choosing curriculum, Jude was in preschool/kindergarten. We used a lot of "free" downloads and worksheets.  I thought, "Free is good.  Can't get any better than free, right?"  Sort of.  Because even though the download was free,  99% of the time it needed to be printed out.  We went through a ream of paper every other week.  Every time I turned around, the printer wanted more ink.  I figured out that it was costing me about $80 a month in ink and paper, plus supplies to complete the activities.  It was cheaper than private school tuition, and allowed us the flexibility we needed for him, but it wasn't "free."

In the past, I've tried to buy workbooks that I could photocopy and re-use.  I'd check the copyright and put books back if they said, "Single use only."  This has been good for some more expensive curriculum programs that are designed to be used with multiple children in the family.  However, there are some I wish I had gotten and used anyway - the book I just finished copying for Jude so I could re-use it for Damien cost $8.  We recently got a new printer (another "hidden" cost) with ink service that significantly reduced the cost of printing.  However, using HP's "per page" figures,  I worked out that it cost me $6 for ink plus half a ream of paper, plus how much time I spent flipping pages on the photocopy screen.  Was it cheaper?   I probably will about break even on that expense, but when you add in staples and folders to keep things organized, no, it wasn't.

We've set up our homeschooling budget to allow for some wonderful travel/field trip experiences.  I don't think you can compare reading about Gettsyburg with standing at the top of Pickett's Charge and imagining the war around you.  It was gut-wrenching to experience a simulation of the sinking of the USS Tang, but it pushed the price of admission to the National WWII museum up.  We've done our trips as frugally as possible, by eating in the hotel  and stacking discounts and loyalty points, and yes, if the budget couldn't include them, we wouldn't go.  However, we chose this over a busy "local-stuff-for-the-day field trip" plan, because even just local museum/zoo/etc. memberships can add up quickly. I don't think I've ever met a homeschooling mama who thinks these aren't worth every penny, but they are definitely not cheap.

As your child gets older, there is less "free" stuff out there, and if you're used to spending next to nothing, you're in for sticker shock!  For upper grades, most parents agree it's better to find experts to teach what you don't know, but homeschooling middle and high school is not for the stingy of wallet. I can't possibly get 1:1 in-person Spanish lessons with a native speaker for $9.17 an hour, but to do so requires a lump sump payment of $550 every six months with the company that provides them.  (I can't complain about the value when I've seen how good the program is, but yes, ouch.)

I'm not a math teacher.  I'm barely a math student. I couldn't comprehend high school Geometry 25 years ago, so I happily punted high school maths to Thinkwell's video-based math programs.  Yes, there are some cheaper programs, but after researching many math curricula, we went with these because they fit our needs best.  To hear your child giggle at Calculus means you've probably made a good choice, and it's worth the money spent.

We recently signed the big boys up for a two-day Biology Lab Intensive program.  Luke wants to major in a science field, and science courses with labs are really important for this.  It certainly was less expensive than even getting just the materials we needed for lab (plus I'm not even sure where to purchase "just one" fetal pig to dissect), but between the course fees, transportation costs for back and forth, and more field trip costs for the little boys since we're already out for the day, the bottom line is getting larger and larger!

I'm not trying to scare anyone away from homeschooling! Homeschooling costs, like everything else, comes down to prioritizing the items in your budget, and then trying to find ways to afford it.  You may find you can trade teaching specific subjects with another family, join a more formal co-op, purchase used books at lower prices, etc., and that can help keep costs down. Can you get a good value for your spending? Absolutely.  I've come to the conclusion that homeschooling can be the best value for your education dollar.  However, homeschooling, no matter how frugally done, is not going to be totally free.


Today is Day 2 of the Schoolhouse Crew Review spring Blog Hop.  There are over 50 bloggers participating in this season's theme, 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents.  I'll be featuring a different group of bloggers each day, and encourage you to check their blogs out and see what advice they have for you!

Adventures with Jude
Day 1: Choosing Curriculum
Day 2: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap (this post)
Day 3: Creating a Customized Curriculum
Day 4: Don't Lose the Big Picture
Day 5: 8 Truths about Homeschooling (live 4/1 @ 8 am)

Melissa @ Grace Christian School
Michele @ Family, Faith and Fridays
Missica @ Through the Open Window
Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling
Rebekah @ There Will Be A $5 Charge For Whining
Renita @ Krazy Kuehner Days
Sarah @ Renaissance Mama
Sasha @ Such a Time as This
Tawnee @ Adventures in Homeschooling
Tiffany @ The Crafty Home
Tina @ Desperate Homeschoolers

Homeschooling Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way: Choosing Curriculum

When we first started homeschooling Jude, I knew almost nothing about how to choose curriculum, other than to put "homeschool curriculum" into Google.  I got pages and pages of programs, and had no clue how to wade through.  As the years have gone on, more and more companies have released programs. The last time I checked the same search, Google spit back literally 8 and a half million returns.

That's a bit overwhelming!

As I started wading through all of that, I began asking myself questions like:

• Should we get a box curriculum? 
• Maybe I should piece things myself?  
• What "style" are we?  
• What grade is my kid, anyway?

When we were first starting out, I was torn between "It's most popular on Google's index, so lots of people must choose it, so it must be good..." and "Is it really that good or do people just search it most and then pick something else"  So then I started asking people, "What's the best <reading/math/science/whatever> program?" and got as many responses as people I asked.  I thought I had it all figured out, and then Luke started at home, and we began all over with high school choices.   And then Matthew and Damien don't learn in the same way as their next-step-up siblings, so the "just use what we have" plan doesn't really work.

So after five years of homeschooling, when I'm asked what is the "best" or "perfect" curriculum, do you know my answer is?

Whatever works. 

So very zen, isn't it? Except when you're poring over catalogs and websites, you're not feeling particularly zen.  And I admit to going through some of this every year.  Here's how we have been able to do pretty well at choosing things that work.

1.  DO NOT PURCHASE ANYTHING AT FIRST. 

I know, this sounds crazy.  I know my first thought was "Oh, gosh, we need..."  If you feel like you have to purchase something, buy some crayons, or poster paint, or a picnic cooler to take lunch to the park.  Crayon and paint are good for all ages, and you'd be surprised how much even a jaded teen enjoys lunch sitting on a blanket after walking around a zoo, museum, or National Park.  (The only exception I'd make is a couple of student-chosen literature books for older kids, and even those you could probably get from a library.)

If you're transitioning from a public/private setting to homeschool, take note of the child's interests, strengths and weaknesses.  A struggling reader may benefit from audio texts.   A child who loves science may be better suited to a unit study approach where a scientist's experiments are the central focus, with studying the biography of the scientist (literature) and the context of the era (social studies/history) provide other disciplines without being overtly "other subjects."  It will make things much easier if you can rule out "read a book about it" if you find child would prefer to explore something in person or via virtual field trip.

2. GET TO KNOW HOW EACH CHILD LEARNS. (And don't assume it's the same way you do, or how his siblings do.)

I love to read. I devour books like the Very Hungry Caterpillar on Saturday.  I wanted to instill that love of reading in Jude.  So many people recommended a particular literature based program.  It was horrible for us.  I desperately wanted Jude to love the books.  He desperately wanted the books to go away.

Lesson learned.  Jude is not an auditory/reading learner.    He struggles to hear a read-aloud story and imagine a still picture and process it all at once.  That's not to say he doesn't love stories.  He does, when he reads it himself or when it's presented in a video form.  This usually means not using pre-packaged programs, and just picking and choosing individual books based on his actual reading level,  and not necessarily using a curriculum's "parent read, kiddo listens" plans.

Be prepared for siblings to have different learning styles.  With Luke, I can hand him a book, a quiz and some discussion questions at the end, and it's all good.  Matthew needs smaller goals -- like questions each chapter to make sure he stays on track.


3.  GO BACK TO THE SEARCH ENGINE AND ENTER "<NAME OF CURRICULUM> REVIEW."

Sure, every website that sells a particular item is going to extol its virtues.  As my Grandfather used to say, "You'll never hear a huckster holler  'Rotten Fruit!'" What you want to find are honest reviews, written by people that have used the programs.  A good company will have many parents' input.    A great company will have negative reviews.  Why? Because what bombs for one child is perfect for another.  I never put any stock in "This was stupid. Waste of money..." reviews, because they're not helpful.  I want to know WHY it worked (or didn't) for someone, not just "Great value! Love it!" If someone writes "This is terrible -- the books are written on a 6th grade level and it's for 9th grade curriculum," that is still helpful.  Matthew isn't a particularly excited reader, so going with easier reading and more complicated hands-on works well for him.  Someone else's black cloud may be your silver lining!  (This is one reason why I love Schoolhouse Crew reviews.  With so many families reviewing something, you're going to get a wide variety of homeschoolers' opinions.)

If a friend offers her opinion, take it for what it is - her opinion.  Consider her children's learning styles and if they match yours.  If she has a child that loves online programs, but you have terrible internet coverage, that's probably not going to be a good fit for your house.

4.  IF A COMPANY OFFERS A FREE TRIAL, USE IT.

This is one of the best ways to see if a program fits.  I've found that I can tell if a program is working well enough to keep going within a week.  That's not to say that after the two weeks or one month trial we decide to spring for the program; pay attention to the child's behavior and attitude after the first few days.  I never make a decision until at least a week in -- sometimes the novelty wears off and you realize it's not a good fit, or a recalcitrant student finally warms up to the program, but usually after a week you can tell if it's worth continuing on or moving on.  A short test drive will help you decide.


5.  CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY.

A good friend of mine used to say "Ask yourself, 'Is this the hill you're willing to die on?'"  If it's not, then yield.

For example, the battle I want to win is "Write a good book report."  I've learned it's better to say "Choose a novel," and get an enthusiastic and well-written report on Mockingjay than an argued-over and half-done Hemmingway.  Sometimes you do have to be more specific, but I try to give as much leeway as I can; when Luke studied Edgar Allen Poe, I gave him a choice between Annabelle Lee or The Raven to pick apart and study poetry.

Is there a subject that is a non-negotiable, especially for a high schooler?   Compromise where you can: if the requirement is "two years of a foreign language," let your child choose.  You might think that Spanish makes more practical sense, but he thinks Latin would be better because he's fascinated by word roots, or he wants to learn Russian because it uses a different alphabet.   As long as he's willing to learn it, that's half the battle right there!

Finally, if your student feels like he's running in circles, consider a university/semester model with less subjects in a day but longer sessions.  Luke has found that he'd rather spend three months on literature and then three months on history, and have the time to really dig into them, than feel like he's always waiting for the "change classes" bell.

6.  GIVE YOURSELF THE GRACE TO SAY "THIS ISN'T WORKING, WE NEED TO CHANGE TACTICS."

It's so hard to give up on a program, especially if it's not cheap.  That literature-program-debacle was not an inexpensive mistake.  (We kept the books and now read them "just to read," not to pick apart.)

However, the beauty of homeschooling is being able to tailor the education to your child, not force your child into a particular curriculum.  If a program truly isn't working, sell it, shelve it, or share it.

Life is too short to spend every day negotiating to get schoolwork done.  It's OK to start over.  I've spent too many hours fighting when just saying, "Ok, how can we make learning xyz happen?" would have been far more efficient.

This is Day 1 of the Schoolhouse Crew Review spring Blog Hop.  There are over 50 bloggers participating in this season's theme, 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents. I'll be featuring a different group of bloggers each day.  I encourage you to read what tips they have for you!

Adventures with Jude
Day 1: Choosing Curriculum (this post)
Day 2: Homeschooling Isn't Cheap
Day 3: Creating a Customized Curriculum
Day 4: Don't Lose the Big Picture
Day 5: 8 Truths about Homeschooling (live 4/1 @ 8 am)

Kym @ Homeschool Coffee Break
Latonya @ Joy in the Ordinary
Laura @ Day by Day in Our World
Leah @ As We Walk Along the Road
Lisa @ Farm Fresh Adventures
Lori @ At Home: where life happens
Megan @ My Full Heart
Melanie (Wren) @ finchnwren
Melissa @ Mom's Plans






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