X is for Xenia - A Hospitable Heart

From Wikipedia:

"Xenia (Greek: ξενία, xenía) is the Greek word for the concept of hospitality, or generosity and courtesy shown to those who are far from home."

This ancient word makes me think of the story Jesus told about Judgement Day. 

Then the king will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him and say, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? When did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’  And the king will say to them in reply, ‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’  

 (Matthew  25:31-40 NABRE)

Photo: Mark-Shea.com

"A stranger and you welcomed me."  As a Lenten reflection, I've been re-reading The Work of Mercy: Being the Heart and Hands of Christ by Mark Shea.  For Catholics (and other Christians), Lent is a time of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  Yes, there's the obvious "feed the hungry" angle that almsgiving often implies, but this concept of welcoming the stranger is one that pulls me right now.  Shea titles the chapter on this particular Work as "Harbor the Harborless."  He speaks of not just the person who physically needs shelter, but the one who needs a haven for his spirit.   Most of us think of alms as food or coin given to the needy, but the alms a person needs may not be food for his belly, but for his heart.   I think it's easy to overlook the needy spirit.  I know I am guilty of this.  I can get so wrapped up in getting dinner on the table and nobody getting burnt that I'm annoyed by the hug someone is trying to give me.  I'm wrapped up in what I'm doing, and don't have the time to listen.  My heart is, at times,  inhospitable.

I'm a little behind in the idea of "taking on" for Lent,  but for the next 20-odd days, I'm really going to take on working to achieve the spirit of xenia.  I think the Greeks' definition meant people who are physically far from home, but here on earth, our spirits are far from our heavenly home, and need generosity and courtesy as well.   As Jesus says, to welcome the least is to welcome Him.  He never said, "I'm too tired," or "I'm busy."  He always welcomed the soul that needed love.  I never will be as perfect as He is, and there will be times I fall short.  But if He could suffer on the cross to open Heaven for me, surely I can do a better job keeping my heart open for Him.





X is a hard letter -- see what others are writing about!

Abraham's Journey: A Celebration of the American Dream (A Schoolhouse Crew Review)

 Our family was part of the crew team reviewing Abraham's Journey: A Celebration of the American Dream.  We received a paperback copy (retail price $14.99), but it is also available as an e-book from the website Inspiring the American Dream.  The plot of this short story, written by Kathleen Basmadjian, PhD and Robert K. Basmadjian, Jr.,  travels through history.  The story opens with a young boy's family saying that money was tight, and while enough to meet their needs, it would not stretch to extras like Christmas gifts.  The boy, Abraham, decided to surprise his family by earning money and buying them gifts.  Abraham Lincoln appears to the boy, and takes him on a journey to meet other historical figures who exemplify hard work and perseverance.  In the end, Abraham has enough money to not only purchase gifts for his family, but a surplus of money to provide gifts to the less fortunate. 


I have always loved Abraham Lincoln.  I think I checked one particular copy of his biography out of my grade school's library at least four times every year starting in the third grade.  Seeing President Lincoln on the cover, I was excited to read a new story that involved him.  I wish I had been as excited at the end as I was at the beginning.   I have no problem at all with historical figures "breaking the fourth wall," and in fact, one of my favorite attractions at Disney World  - The American Adventure in EPCOT - features Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain as the hosts of a review of American history.   Perhaps it is impossible for a short story to exceed that standard, but this story fell disappointingly short for me.   As much as I agree with the authors' underlying message of working hard to achieve your dreams,  I think the book got in its own way.

While I understand how the historical figures fit into the plot, they were not in chronological order; a meeting with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was followed by an encounter with Amelia Earhart and then a fast-forward to meeting Mark Zuckerberg.  While there were short biographies of the historical figures at the end of the book, I would have liked to have seen more information about them, and why Abraham Lincoln was introducing young Abraham to them, incorporated into the story itself.  As an adult, I can understand the reason why, but the poor chronology made it seem like Earhart was there as a "token female historic role model." Since the book is geared for children ages seven through twelve,  Celia and Matthew were part of my "review team."  As I read it, I also wondered if they would recognize the people to whom young Abraham is introduced. 

I gave the book to eight-year-old Celia to read.  I did not tell her my feelings, or even what the plot was.  I wanted her to form her own opinions.  She is a fairly fast reader, and had it completed in less than fifteen minutes.  We then had a short discussion.  I asked her several questions, and the following are her answers:

• What did you think of the book? It was weird.  I know it has to be fiction, because Abraham Lincoln is already dead, and we learned in school that Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.   So it was really weird for them to be talking to the boy.

• Did you know who all the famous people were? Well...some of them.  But not really. I know about President Lincoln and Dr. King.  And I guess the one guy [Norman Rockwell] was maybe a famous painter, but I've never heard of him.  I guess they are people who helped change the world and make dreams come true?

Abraham meets Bill & Melinda Gates
Image source: Inspiring the American Dream

• Well, Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook, and Bill Gates created Microsoft -- as in "Microsoft Windows."  Wow.  Really?  I didn't know that.  They must be smart, but I don't understand how they were important.  They're not historical.

• Did you understand the message of the book? I think so.  I guess it is saying "Don't give up on a dream and don't give up hope."  The part about people losing their jobs was realistic, but the rest isn't realistic and is really, really fake.  I mean, come on....Abraham Lincoln isn't going to come out of your cellphone.

• Do you think it's as easy to be successful as the book shows?  No, it's not.  Well, not usually.  I think it would make more sense to keep asking people if they had any money chores he could do for them, or to even help his parents find a job.  Because I know you like my drawings, but you're not going to pay me tons of money for them.  

(Note: in our house, everyone pitches in to keep the household running.  There is no allowance or "pay" for these basic things, but there are sometimes some extra one-time-only "money chores" that they can do to earn a little pocket money.)

I was curious to find out what Matthew (age 11) would think of the story, and wondered if there would be a big difference in thinking between a third grader and a sixth grader.  His impressions paralleled his sister's.  While he was more willing to suspend disbelief for the story (he even pointed out that it was "like that Scrooge story we read at Christmas...you know, the one where the ghosts show him around?") and did understand the point of having to work with the talents you have, he didn't understand why those particular adults were part of the story, either.  When I explained to him who they were, he understood a little better.   One thing he said stood out to me; while he knew that Abraham Lincoln coming alive was fake, he thought that maybe kids would think that all they needed to do was tell somebody what they wanted and then that person would do it for them, like how "that one guy got the lady to buy the painting."  He mentioned how it didn't seem like Abraham  worked very hard and still got tons of money.  I have to agree with both of them -- it did not seem like young Abraham worked for what he got.  He met many examples of hard workers, but in the end, he just knew somebody who knew somebody who knew a third person, and he really did not have any hurdles to overcome.  I found that both had the same thoughts interesting, given that the author's note specifically says of why the book was written:

Ironically, the very success of earlier American generations achieving the ‘dream’ has now led to a new generation, with very little, if any, understanding or motivation to pursue it. Attitudes of want rather than need, expectations to have, rather than to have earned, have replaced thrift and hard work as cornerstones in modern day society, threatening the American dream’s very existence."

To my tweens,  the names "Zuckerberg" and "Gates" do not really mean much, and  "social media" is just a phrase heard in the news.  They are familiar with Facebook, but to them, that is just the place where Mom can put a picture for Grammy to see.  (In addition, the book does not name Facebook in the story, they just refer to it as "a social media site created by Mark Zuckerberg.") While they are aware there are many charitable organizations that we personally contribute to, they had no idea that the Gateses have earned and given away so much wealth.   Celia had a hard time separating fact from fiction once she did learn who the people were/are.  She knew that Lincoln and King and Earhart were historic figures, long deceased.  It was a little overwhelming when she saw Bill Gates interviewed on the news, and then started wondering if maybe part of the story was real, and it wasn't just somebody "dressed up like President Lincoln but who really did show Abraham how to get money..."  I think they missed the point of the historic angle because the current innovators were unknown to them.

I expected this book to delve more into hard work, not just good luck.  I expected the historical figures to be recognizable ones, or if they were less prominent people, a better explanation within the story of why they were important Americans and keystones of the American Dream.  The excerpt that the authors have chosen for the site reads:

“Along the way, Abraham, you will meet several great American men and women. They will help you to uncover your hidden talent. They will share with you the many virtues you need in order to achieve your dream.  However, you must understand that you…and only you…are capable of making that dream come true.”

I only wish that the book had held to that promise that only Abraham could make his dream come true, just like guide Abraham Lincoln rose from a one-room cabin to the White House through his own work and dedication.  Unfortunately, the feeling that it was simply group of random "people who seemed to know other people who ultimately got him the money he needed"  just overshadowed the message for us.

Everyone interprets a story through his own eyes; click and see what others thought of this book.

College Common Sense (A Schoolhouse Crew Review)

The Going to College and Paying for it Online Video and Workbook is a program for parents of all school-aged children.  The goal of the program is for parents to help their children to find ways to fund college.   College Common Sense markets this toward families of with school children of all ages -- from as young as early elementary students to high schoolers preparing to apply to college very soon. As part of the Crew, I received a subscription to the online program (there is also a DVD version), and used it to help guide my 3rd, 6th, and 9th graders.  (While a kindergartener could theoretically benefit from some of the program, I felt Jude has so much time and so many delays to overcome that he is not really missing out on anything while not being involved this round.)

There are six video/worksheets pairs in this program:

• The Big Picture - an overview that includes the author's opinion on when to start parts of the program. 

• How Financial Aid Works - includes information on the differences between types of aid.

• All About the Free Money - free is good, right? This part focuses on scholarship opportunities.

• The System That Works - the author discusses how to logically organize your search.

• You In the Process - The student's role in obtaining aid is addressed.

• Pulling It All Together - making the process seem less daunting.

The system is available in two forms.  One is a DVD/workbook set, and retails for $50 (plus a $5 shipping charge).  I think that if you have younger children and you want to get a very early jump on things, this is may be a more valuable presentation, because you can review it as your child becomes ready for the activities over a longer period of time.  The other format is online access to the videos with a downloadable workbook.  This option costs $25, and gives access to the videos for 12 months.  

I definitely appreciate the scholarship information.   I think this is a great help - it has been a long time since I researched scholarships for myself.  In the days before the internet, you had to go to the library and pore over books and books that listed scholarships and their application requirements, and hope you found the right ones for you.  It certainly is much easier to sit on your couch and do some of the background work with the videos!  I like the organization idea presented by the program, too -- they are something that will help us.

The program's creator, Denise Ames, also recommends every student - at any age - keep a journal.  It should be a simple log of interests (and non-interests!), achievements, etc. This way, the student is able to look back over time and see what patterns might emerge, and how he can transfer those lessons and skills into higher learning and career goals.  I think this is a good idea. While it might provide direction for a student who has no real long-term goals, it also is something that would benefit a student who feels their future is just waiting for him to get there.  I know I personally could have benefited from a journal like this.  By seventh grade,  I had one career all planned out.  I knew what I was doing for the next twelve years!  And then I got to college and decided I hated the coursework.  It certainly would have been helpful to have had a book to look back on to help me come up with a Plan B.  (It all worked out in the end, but it was certainly a stressful summer.)

College Common sense also offers a free weekly lesson plan series.  They are sent via email, and are meant to complement the video series.   While it can be a standalone program, I think they are great with the videos because they keep you on a focused path, especially if you have a younger child. In addition to financial planning,  the second week of each month focuses on practical ways that a parent could help their child prepare for the granddaddy of scholarship yardsticks -- the SAT/ACT tests.  Having scores of scolarships listed may not be helpful if the test scores are below the minimum accepted numbers, so this is a good reminder that just finding free money is not the goal. Qualifying for it is equally important.

A major reservation I have about recommending a program like this for early in a student's career is that if the parent is not careful, it could lead to a lot of stress for the child.  I think all four of my school-age kids could benefit from the "About Me" journal (even now for Jude), but at this point I feel it is too early for the younger ones to really be thinking about anything beyond that.  Celia is still in the "I'm going to marry a Prince" phase.  Of course she will have to realize that there are not that many royal bachelors and she needs a more practical plan, but I'm in no hurry to push her to grow up.  Matthew's focus is on finding a high school, and college just is too far away for him to focus. 

Because Luke is already in high school, I thought he would benefit the most from the program.  However, being only a freshman, it is still a bit early.  He knows he needs to go to college for what he wants to do (he would like to be a pediatric physical therapist), but he is still trying to figure out plans beyond that.  His immediate focus is on trying to figure out what courses he can potentially double up on to earn dual and/or AP credit, and where those credits will apply.  Those decisions will play a large role into where he may go, and what sort of monies he is eligible for.  He would prefer to handle this before focusing on pertinent college scholarships.  I know there are some programs that he may miss out on, but I respect his plan.  It is a logical path for him, and I have no desire to make him so anxious about how to pay for college that he loses focus on doing the best he can in school now.  I think towards the end of sophomore year will be a more realistic time for active planning.

If you prefer to start planning early, this program will help you stay on track over time.   If you want practical advice for working through the financial aid process with your high school student, this program will be beneficial to you as well.   While geared to all students, I think would be most beneficial for students in their sophomore or junior years of high school while they are focusing their searches on a more concrete list of college choices and the accompanying price tags. 

Saving for college is on the minds of many families.  

Click below to see what other families thought about College Common Sense.

Our octopuses went visiting...

Last week, we learned about octopuses.  Yes, that's really the "official" plural, not octopi.  We learned that they have eight arms to help them find their food, and the move about by jet propulsion -- they take in water and then squirt it out so quickly that it moves them where they want to go. 

We also made adorable little octopuses.  Today, we are guests of The Usual Mayhem, and you can see there how we made them.  Our thanks to Erin for hosting us, and her patience when our little octopuses got lost without a map. 


I'll leave you with a little poem that we learned as well --

 

The Octopus

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.

Ogden Nash

Buddies.

Linky friends:

An Allergy Friendly Favorite Dinner: Potato Soup and Garlic Cheddar Biscuits

Today we are sharing two of our family's favorite recipes.   The first is Jude's favorite soup.  Officially "Creamy Potato Soup with Bacon," Jude calls it "Potato Slimy Cheese Soup" because he puts Daiya cheese on top.  Note: Daiya is not at all slimy, but it does MELT very well, while other vegan cheeses do not.  I think the moniker came from when we first discovered Daiya.  Jude was eating a quesadilla where the cheese actually DID melt, and it seemed "slimy" compared to other versions. The second recipe is for Garlic Cheddar Biscuits.  These are Luke and Matthew's favorite biscuits -- I always make a double batch so we have leftovers.  If I am lucky, they last through the next day.  I have no idea how long they will keep before going stale -- around here, the first tray is gobbled up before they have a chance to even cool!

These recipes are written to be allergy friendly.  In our house, between everyone are allergies to dairy, soy, wheat/gluten, peanuts, treenuts, fish, and shellfish. For the soup, you can substitute like-for-like; for example, cow's or soy milk for the coconut milk. For garnish, you can use any safe cheese -- Jude and Matthew top their soup with Daiya, while the rest of us use regular cow's milk cheddar.  For the biscuits, you can use other forms of cheese and milk interchangeably.  Omit the eggs if you are using regular Bisquick instead of the Gluten-Free Version.  I've included brand names with the recipes, rather than a vague "coconut milk" or "vegan cheese" because these are the brands we use, and I am reasonably confident that they will work for you.  I have never received anything from the companies to use their products, I'm just a happy customer who has tried them and found they work for our family. Of course, please make sure to check that they are safe for any allergies your family may have.

Dairy-free Creamy Potato Soup with Bacon

This recipe serves 8-10.  You can easily cut it in half for a smaller family, or refrigerate and eat the next day for lunch.  Like most soups, it is very good when freshly prepared, but also seems to "improve" after sitting overnight.

 

Ingredients:
2 1/2 pounds russet potatoes
1-2 pounds bacon
2 medium onions
1 quart So Delicious unsweetened coconut milk beverage
2 cups chicken broth
2 Tbsp garlic powder

Note: You can use turkey bacon, but will need additional fat.  Add 2 Tbsp of vegetable oil to the pan when sauteing the bacon,  plus 1/4 cup oil (or butter) for the onions.

Directions:





Peel potatoes and cut into 1/2 inch cubes.  Place in a pot, and fill with enough water to just cover the potatoes.  (You do not need to fill the pot to the top; 1" of water above the potatoes is sufficient.)

Take the bacon out of the package.  Slice the entire block into 1/2" pieces. 

Add the bacon to a second large pot.  Stirring frequently, fry over medium heat until crispy.  As you stir the bacon will separate into individual pieces.  One pound of bacon is enough if you are using it as "just a garnish." Our family likes lots of bacon mixed into the soup, so I use two pounds.  (Two pounds also helps there to be enough left for the meal if you have any snitchers - bacon is one of Celia and Damien's only safe foods, and if you're not looking, they'll take the tray with them!)

While the bacon cooks, dice the onions.  I usually dice them fairly small, because my family likes onion flavor but not onion chunks.

Using a slotted spoon, remove the bacon to a paper towel-lined cookie sheet, and set aside for serving. 








Cook the potatoes until soft.  Drain, but do NOT rinse them.











Pour off any excess bacon fat into a heat-proof bowl, leaving about 1/4 cup left in the pot.  Add the diced onion to the bacon pot.











Add 1/4 cup water to the pot as well.  Using a silicone/rubber spatula or wooden spoon, scrape the fond (a fancy French word for "yummy browned goodness") from the bottom/sides of the pot.)  Saute the onion until soft and translucent, about 5-7 minutes. 








Add 1 quart (four cups) of the coconut milk beverage to the pot and stir. (Do not used canned coconut milk.  Coconut milk beverage somehow has the "island undertone" removed from it; using canned coconut milk will give your soup an undesirable flavor.)

Add 2/3 of the cooked potatoes to the milk/onion mixture.  Mash the potatoes until they are nearly smooth.  This will thicken the soup to a "runny mashed potato" consistency.   Gently stir in the rest of the potato chunks, and add 2 cups chicken broth.  Simmer on low heat until biscuits are ready.

 

 

Garlic Cheddar Biscuits

This recipe makes 2 1/2-3 dozen biscuits.  It can easily be halved if you don't have teenaged boys.

 

Ingredients:
14 ounces (2 packages) Daiya cheddar style wedges
4 cups Gluten Free Bisquick
2/3 cup bacon fat (liquid)
1 1/2 cups So Delicious Unsweetened Coconut Milk Beverage
6 eggs
2-4 Tablespoons crushed garlic (or an equal amount of garlic powder)

Note: Substitute melted shortening (for a soy-free shortening, we use Spectrum palm oil shortening) or any vegetable oil for the bacon fat, if desired.  

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400*F (204*C.)

Neat tip I learned: While it's not exact enough if you need to be really specific (like if you're making candy, or working in a science lab), if you're converting a baked goods recipe between Farenheit and Celsius, either divide the oven temperature in half (Farenheit to Celsius) or double (Celsius to Farenheit) and round to the nearest 5*.  (ie, 400F = ~200C, 149C = ~300F).  It's close enough to work for baking. Just check for doneness at the shortest time, and then leave in a few more minutes if needed. 

Shred the Daiya.  You can use the pre-shredded bags of Daiya as well, but I find it doesn't melt into the biscuit as nicely and tends to remain in distinct bits.









Toss the shredded Daiya with the Bisquick. This will help distribute the shreds evenly through the dough, and  keep the shreds from sinking to the bottom of the biscuit.











In a separate bowl (I use a 4 cup measuring cup since it's easier for pouring), combine the bacon fat, milk, and garlic.  Add the eggs and lightly beat to combine with the liquid.  Add to the dry mix, and stir gently until completely combined.  Drop onto a foil-lined cookie sheet in scant 1/4 cup spoonfuls.  (I use a #20 disher to make sure they are evenly sized and formed.) 

Bake for 10-12 minutes.  Allow to cool for a minute or two (so you don't burn your fingers moving them) and plate for serving.  Attempt to keep thieves at bay while you plate the soup.

Dinner is served!

Ladle the soup into a bowl.  Top with bacon and safe shredded cheese.  Serve with a warm biscuit.

There are lots of yummy treats being featured this week on the Crew's "Recipe Share Blog Cruise."   The dinner bell rings on Tuesday, so make sure to check back to see what's on the menu!

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Like arrows in the hand of a warrior...

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the sons born in one’s youth.

Psalm 127:4

(and daughters!)

Five Minute Friday: What Mama Did.

Today's Five Minute Friday topic: What Mama Did.  What did your mother do that makes her special and yours.  

Go:

It's not what my Mother did, but what she didn't do.  She didn't blink.

I said to her, "I know it's your night out with Gram, but we need you to come home. [My younger brother]  Matthew needs stitches."  She packed up her things, came home, and went to the ER. Once there, she held his head in her lap so the doctor could patch his chin back together. 

I said to her, "I'm bored. Can I dye my hair purple?" so many times when I was a teenager that she rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever you want, dear."  The weekend I came home from summer camp with hair the hue of a Lenten chasuble she raised an eyebrow and shook her head, but didn't say a word.

I said to her, "I want to change schools.  I don't like where I am, and I want to come home.  And I want to change majors.  I don't want to be pre-med, I want  to study theater."  She threw another chicken leg in the oven, welcomed me back home, and came to see me perform.

I said to her, "I want to get married," and she didn't say "You've only known him four months!" or "You're too young!"  She just said, "When?" and we planned my wedding while riding the El to work.

I said to her, "I'm pregnant," with baby no. 5, and she said, "As long as you're both OK, I'm happy." Of course she worried, but she never said "Five???!!"  She just said, "I'll keep praying," and she finished the baby quilt HER mother started before she died, so that Damien would have one just like all of the other babies.

I said to her, "What can I do to help?" when she was diagnosed with cancer for the second time in three years.  She said, "Come help me pick out hair."  So I did, and eventually she chose three wigs -- her "everyday" hair, her "good" hair, and her "party" hair.  Bald didn't stop her.

People say, "Don't blink, you'll miss it."  She doesn't miss anything.  She doesn't blink.

Stop.

Celia took this picture last summer -  Mom was finally feeling strong enough for a Girl's Day Out, 

and we decided to go "all in" and head to New York City.